I sat in our bedroom and cried while I poured my heart out to my husband.
We had an overwhelming week and I had reached a breaking point.
“I don’t know how I can be all the things to all the people in this family. It’s too much. And there is not enough of me to go round” I said.
We had three kids in three short years and I when I tell you it was a whirlwind,I mean it.
Sometimes I feel like I blinked and three kids were staring at me calling me mama.
At that moment, I knew something needed to change. I did not want to spend my whole life waiting to “live the dream” only to be completely unhappy once I was living it.
I was completely overwhelmed by every aspect of motherhood and sat in our bedroom surrounded by a messy house and loads of laundry.
Even though my husband was sympathetic and understanding, I knew the only person that could change my situation was me.
I needed and wanted so desperately to learn to enjoy motherhood not endure it.
So I started the painful process of deconstructing and rebuilding what it meant for me to be a mom.
…and in the process, I discovered what I truly wanted and what I craved was pretty simple.
I wanted to enjoy life more with less. I wanted less…..
- To do’s
So started my journey toward Minimalism.
How Minimalism Changed Everything For Our Family
I Stopped Being A “Yes” Person
In my early years as a mama, I said yes to all the things. I’m a 3 on the enneagram meaning that by nature I am an achiever. A doer.
I find my worth in what I can accomplish and because of that, I always felt like, to be relevant, I had to be always achieving and working toward something.
So I filled that void of not feeling enough with tasks to get done. The problem wasn’t that I said yes too often.
It was with my motives behind the yes. I was just covering up a much deeper issue that had to do with self-worth rather than dealing with it.
At what cost? Each time I said yes, I added a heaping pile to my already full plate which made me feel utterly depleated.
I didn’t want to be that kind of a mom.
As my mindset began to shift and draw toward a simpler life, I became very intentional about what I said yes to and more importantly why I was saying yes.
Now, I only say yes to projects that are truly a good fit for both me and my family and that I can give my full attention to.
As a mom of three, that list is very small and I’m ok with that.
Because there truly is only so much of you to go around. Each time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.
Choose wisely, dear friend.
I Stopped Buying All The Things
When I had my first baby, she liked going out and seeing new things. So I took her out every single day.
But I would always end up purchasing clearance items from Marshalls and HomeGoods as an impulse buy.
Which filled my house with tons of “deals” but stuff I didn’t even love.
Now, I decide what I want for my home before I shop.
I’d rather wait an entire year to save up for an item rather than purchase something that’s “on sale” just for the sake of getting a good deal.
I only bring items into our home that bring joy.
I Stopped Letting FOMO Guide My Decision Making
We’ve all done it. Got sucked into the latest trend because everyone else is doing it.
But there is no worse reason to do something.
I have made SO many decision in my life based on what other people are doing or what other people think only to find those decisions didn’t serve me or my family.
Now, rather than living in the scarcity mentality of always being afraid of missing out, I focus on an abundant life that God has promised me.
I Learned To Truly Enjoy The Moment
Once I learned to be intentional with what I say yes to and to not make decisions based on what other people think, it gave me the freedom to truly enjoy my life.
When I began the process of clearing the clutter of my mind, an unexplainable peace came over me.
It was like my eyes were open and I realized I was living my dream, I just couldn’t see it before.
Now, I choose to focus on what I have rather than what I want. And it truly brings joy.
If you are a mama feeling overwhelmed and defeated by motherhood, you are not alone. I see you.
I encourage you to choose your “yes” wisely, be intentional about what you bring in your home, don’t let fear drive your decision making, and learn to truly enjoy the moment.
Because motherhood was meant to be enjoyed, not endured <3
May Your Coffee Be Stronger Than Your Toddler