5 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me Before I Got Married

From the time I was a little girl, I remember wanting to get married so badly. My parents had a great relationship and nothing seemed more amazing than having a best friend to do life with.

Shortly after I was married, I realized that marriage was nothing I was expecting it to be. Yes, it was amazing, but there were so many aspects of marriage that I wasn’t expecting. It wasn’t a perfect fairy tale. There was actually a lot of hard work and forgiveness involved. Over and over again. Most issues that came up between us had much more to do with me than it did him.

We’ve been married for seven years this June and though it has taken a lot of hard work, I can honestly say that we are happily married.

I don’t at all want to paint a picture of a perfect marriage because our marriage is far from perfect. We fight and annoy the heck out of each other. But at the end of the day, we’re committed and have chosen to fight for each other through difficult times.

Throughout the past seven years, there have been many areas I’ve struggled in and I’ve had to work through what was truth and what was a lie.

I guess that’s how the enemy works. He doesn’t show up with a full blown lie, he turns truth into a lie which I believe is even more damaging.

Other than giving my heart to Jesus, marriage is the best decision I’ve ever made!
It truly is a magical gift that binds two souls together. Cherish it. You now have a best friend to do life with! It is a beautiful picture of Christ’s love for the church.

When I got married I thought the most amazing part of marriage would be going to sleep next to and waking up next to your very best friend.

Seven years later, it’s still my favorite thing about marriage.

You Are A Team

It’s you and your spouse against the world. People with good intentions WILL try to pull you apart and it won’t always feel like you’re on the same team. Guard your teammate, stick up for them, and always have their back.

You Are Responsible For Your Happiness

Not your spouse, not your family, not your church, and not your friends.

This is an area I struggle with every single day. Your spouse was not created to make you happy and expecting them to is putting immense pressure on them. The cannot and will not be able to fill that cup. Happiness is a choice that comes from within.

The pages of scripture are lined with incredible stories of people who found joy IN SPITE of terrible circumstances. Page after page we see heartbreak, failure, and tragedy yet still so many heroes of the faith found joy.

Simply put, we are not necessarily promised prosperity here on earth. God never promised health, wealth, or to calm every storm.

He DID promise to never leave or forsake us and that we CAN FIND JOY IN HIM. BUT we are responsible to claim it for ourselves.

The things you can change……health, finances, communication, relationships CHANGE. Take action, be intentional, and be consistent.

But thing things that are out of your control…….learn to find peace in the storm.

You Won’t Always See Eye To Eye And That’s Ok. But You Need To Speak up

Choosing to stay silent when you have something bursting inside of you is where resentment is born.

When he does something you like, tell him. When he does something you don’t like, tell him.

We are called to be a helpmeet to our husbands. Sometimes that means speaking up when it’s easier to stay silent.

“The right thing is almost never the easy thing”

Woman are gifted with incredible insight and intuition and it is foolish not to speak up when something is weighing on you.

You won’t always be right. You’ll be wrong many times. But having the courage to voice the warning sign you see is so important and valued by loving husbands.

You Get What You Are Willing To Give

…..in every single area of marriage.

Before marriage, In my ignorance, I would see an unhappy couple and think “That poor lady married a jerk and now she’s stuck with him”.

In reality, most of the time couples are actively equally making choices to have an unhappy marriage. They are not willing to fight for each other.

If you are more concerned with what you can get rather than what you can give you are selling yourself short. There are fullness and completion in sacrificial giving.

And it is not always easy.

I don’t speak of this as someone who has mastered it, I speak of it as someone who has learned it from my spouse.

Do not expect to live a full marriage if you are not willing to continually give of yourself.

Especially during the hard times.

Next check out Why It’s Important To Take A Kid-Free Vacation With Your Spouse

Xoxox
Colleen

May Your Coffee Be Stronger Than Your Toddler

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