We didn’t make a habit of getting away kid free early on in our marriage.
The first 4.5 years of parenthood we only left them during our hospital stay (delivering baby two and three) and we took a two-night babymoon before we had baby three.
We finally decided to book a kid-free vacation to celebrate our 7 year anniversary. A four-day cruise to the Bahamas.
As soon as we booked, I felt so guilty for getting away without my littles. That nagging mom guilt was echoing “You’re so selfish” “They are missing out” “How could you leave them”.
I honestly battled with thoughts of guilt until the day we left for our vacation.
As soon as we left I felt a cloud of relief flooded over me. They were going to be fine and we were going to enjoy ourselves.
From the second we drove out of the driveway I felt like a teenage girl fiercely in love with the guy of my dreams.
We laughed and talked and connected like we never have before.
I fell in love with the man I married all over again. But this time deeper, more mature, and more selfless.
I learned things about him I never knew. In that trip, I realized I loved him more than I ever loved him in the past.
If you haven’t taken the time to get away kid free with your spouse, I cannot recommend it enough.
It doesn’t need to be elaborate. If you can afford a fancy trip then take one. If not, book a local hotel or bed and breakfast and just relax and reconnect.
Here are a few reasons why we will make it a priority to get away kid free once a year.
Life is an insane roller coaster. Add kids to the mix and you’ll find yourself drowning in a sea of mundane daily tasks that sometimes seem meaningless.
Reconnecting brings purpose back into your life.
We were ships passing through the night. There were weeks and even months that we didn’t have a quality conversation. By nature, Donavin and I get along well and enjoy each other’s company.
We don’t fight often but sometimes I think the only thing worse than fighting is not communicating at all.
I’d rather have a passionate “disagreement” than not even know what the heck is going on with your spouse.
We’ve been through both seasons of life. But being able to reconnect with your person and remember why you are doing life together is priceless.
You cannot connect with someone you don’t know. And let’s be honest, you cannot fully enjoy your spouse when you have cute little distractions demanding your attention at all times.
Connecting with your spouse = better parents for your kids
I’ve always struggled with the idea of relaxing. I’m a hustler by nature and tend to feel like resting is wasting precious time I could be hustling.
Truth is, if you take the time to give your body rest, your hustle will be so much more high quality and you will enjoy it more.
I’ve burned the candle at both ends for a good portion of my life. And it has always ended in discontentment and depression.
God rested on the seventh day. I will tell you from experience that there is power in rest.
Your body craves and needs rest away from your littles.
I felt like a new person after getting a full night sleep consecutively.
Not only sleep but emotional rest. Being able to hear myself think, and write stuff down brought so much clarity for what I want in life, and who I want to be for my kids.
Having that mental clarity gave me so much purpose and I was able to see blind spots in my life that I hadn’t seen in the past
Rest = Clarity
Clarity = purpose
Purpose = A better mom for your kids
“If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy”
Laughter is a huge part of our family and who I am as a person.
But getting away kid free created a space with my husband where we could talk and laugh like we hadn’t before in a very long time.
We laughed about the fights we’ve had in the past, we laughed about ridiculous things our kids have done and said, and we laughed at ourselves and each other.
And it felt good!! It fell fulfilling to laugh together
We’ve gone through seasons in our marriage where we honestly didn’t even have time to laugh together. I don’t want that life ever again.
Laughing made us stronger, laughing made us happier, and laughing made us want to be together even more.
Have Adult Conversations
Having adult conversations isn’t alway fun. Most of the time it’s easier to just avoid anything confrontational but is that really making your marriage stronger?
The right thing is almost never the easiest thing.
Being able to be vulnerable with each other and have open conversations about our marriage was so enlightening.
And it communicates to your spouse that you are worth fighting for.
Being able to have those conversations without little people asking for a snack felt so good and was so much more constructive.
Your Kids Need It
I know it’s hard to wrap your mind around this point, but your kids NEED and deserve parents that are on the same page with life.
EVERYTHING draws back to the family. Your family is only as strong as your walk with God, and your relationship with your spouse.
Your kids also need some space from you. I got home and my kids were perfectly fine. I actually think the only one who missed me was my oldest.
The other two didn’t seem to miss me at all which kind of made me sad and then happy.
But it was good for my oldest to be apart from me. She is very attached to me and I love it. But it’s not healthy for her to not be able to be apart from me for a few nights.
She will be stronger and more independent because of it.
I didn’t realize how much we needed this trip until we actually took it.
Now that I can see with clarity how good it was for our relationship and our family, we are committed to making it a priority once a year.
We won’t always do something elaborate but we will plan a 3-4 night getaway every year going forward.
I truly believe it’s the little things you do now that will prevent a broken marriage in the next twenty years.
Taking the time to know, understand, and reconnect is a little thing that will make our entire family stronger.
Wanna plan a getaway??
Check out all my posts on our first cruise and what to expect.