I’ve been in a slump.
The last few months I’ve been in a mom slump that I can’t seem to shake. It’s not really depression, just more being negative and feeling down.
My first reaction was blame of course. It’s because I have these crazy kids and I can never get a minute to myself, It’s because my husband doesn’t help me enough, it’s because my husband works too much, it’s because I’m tired all the time. Blah Blah Blah…..
The things I can think up are pretty impressive when I’m trying to shift blame and put it on someone else. Sometimes I actually amaze myself.
I talked to my husband about it and prayed for direction but nothing seemed to shift. Then one day I was driving home and It came to me.
“You are being ungrateful”.
It was either the Holy Spirit or my God-given conscience. Either way, it came from something bigger than myself.
My first reaction was denial of course. I am SUPER grateful I thought. I’ve always placed a big value on being grateful. Then I started to really think about everything God has given me and how I’ve recently been overlooking it and placing a bigger focus on things I don’t have.
This my friends is the quickest way to feel sorry for yourself.
At that moment, I knew I needed to take action immediately. You see, I am a 3 on the enneagram meaning I am a woman of and thrive by taking action and getting things accomplished.
So I started Finding Gratitude In A World Of Never Enough.
Related post: How to Fill Your Soul And Renew Your Mind
After the initial shock of recognizing that I was being ungrateful, I started to think about the deeper rooted issue. What was it stemming from? I find that our world generally as a whole struggles with being grateful. I think that is partially a marketing strategy.
Companies know that if they can make us feel bad about not having “things” then we are more likely to buy putting money in their pockets.
For us, it creates a “never enough” mentality which leads to being ungrateful. I know this because I’ve experienced it more often than I care to admit.
This article talks about the importance of gratitude and that it is even good for our health.
Define What You Want Your Life To Look Like
The first step I took to find gratitude was to define what and how I want my life to look. Sometimes I get fomo of what other people have or are doing and I think I want it. It’s in our nature to not want to miss out.
But too many times I have bought that thing, or went on that trip, or had that experience only to realize it actually wasn’t fun at all and just ended up costing me money.
So I went back to the drawing board and became VERY clear on the life I wanted for my family. Then it was simple.
Create a simple space for my family where people will feel loved, welcomed and always cultivate creativity in conversation and activities.
Within that definition, I found that I am actually living my best life. Therefore found gratitude.
Stop Comparing Your Life To Other People’s Life
Once I got very clear on what I wanted for myself and my family, I started becoming diligent in not getting caught up in the comparison trap. I know we all know this, but it’s so easy to do. People always like to blame this on social media, but I think this has been happening far before social media ever existed.
I think any time people gather together whether its church, mops, small group, the gym, or preschool get-togethers, there is A LOT of comparing going on. I know I struggle with this for sure. Especially when I’m not living in a spirit of gratitude.
The thing to remember about the comparison trap is this. 1) You don’t know their story and 2) EVERYTHING…. and I mean EVERYTHING comes with a price.
Take A Look At What You Have
When I stopped looking at all life’s distractions and started looking at what was right in front of me, I couldn’t help but be enormously grateful. The best way to sum up how I feel about my life is Luke 6:38.
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again
I don’t say that because my life is perfect, it’s far from it. But I cannot even count the many blessings God has richly poured on my life.
I just had to take the time to actually count them.
Don’t Worry About What You Want
Am I the only one who gets obsessive about things they want? This is gonna be REALLY awkward if I am 🙂 But sometimes I obsess over those curtains I need for my bedroom or that gorgeous area rug that would go perfect in my living room.
If not kept in check, my “wants” list can far outweigh my “haves” list.
Make Calculated Plans For The Things You Want
Most of the time when I REALLY want something, If I just give it a few days, it will pass.
It’s like when you see an adorable puppy up for adoption and at that moment you just feel like you HAVE TO GET THE DOG. But do you really?
I started giving myself a 3 day cooling off period when I want to get something new. Nine out of ten times by day three I can’t even remember why I wanted that thing so badly in the first place and I definitely don’t need it. So now I make calculated plans when I am going to make a purchase which helps me only get things I truly love.
Be Content With Who You Are
Growing up, I spent a lot of time wondering why I wasn’t a certain way. Why I wasn’t as pretty, or athletic as that girl or funny as that other girl.
There were aspects of my personality that I began to resent because I just didn’t like them. That led to being resentful and unauthentic. I started to find that there are people in the world that actually liked me for my quirks. Who would have thought?
I’m not at all saying that you shouldn’t try to better yourself. I am saying that you need to identify who you are and what your natural tendencies are and then make peace with them. Trying to be the best you can be within that realm changes everything. Does that even make sense? I hope so.
I highly recommend taking the Enneagram quiz. It’s so powerful in identifying your natural personality traits, helps to overcome weaknesses, and enhance strengths.
The most important part is not to change your number (aka your personality type) rather be aware of and strive to be the best representation of your number that you can be.
Let Go Of What You’re Not
After 31 years of life, I’m finally ok with not being quiet, calm, and always needing to be doing something. It’s who I am and who I was born to be. I’m a little uptight and obsess over getting things accomplished.
Left unchecked, those things can be damaging. But I make a daily effort to harness my natural personality and channel it for good.
You will lose yourself in a world of loneliness if you spend your life being someone you are not. Life is too short, dear friend.
You are cheating yourself and you are cheating the world. Because God made you YOU for a very specific reason. Hiding from that person is damaging to everyone.
Water Your Own Grass
The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.
Any time I have found myself feeling ungrateful it’s usually because I’m not pouring into my life as I should be.
- Annoyed with your spouse? Do something special for him.
- Tired of your kids misbehaving? Create boundaries and be consistent.
- Think your house is ugly, decorate it.
- Tired of being overweight? Come up with a healthy meal plan that works and stick to it.
Behind every single garden that blooms is someone pouring a lot of hard work and consistency into managing it.
In Conclusion: I encourage you to take the time to become very clear on what you want for your life and get out of the “never enough mentality”. Because the biggest problem with it is that it can never be filled.
I thought if I got married, had kids, made money, fill in the blank I would be happy. But that’s not the way it works. Happiness starts right now, with you, exactly where you are today.
I hope this post was helpful and would LOVE to hear your thoughts!
It would mean the world to me if you share this post with a friend and pin it to your favorite Pinterest board! <3
Next, head over here to check out How to Fill Your Soul And Renew Your Mind. I have a feeling if you are like me and struggle with being grateful, chances are you need to renew your mind as well. These are my go-to tips for getting back on track when I am feeling overwhelmed. I hope they are helpful to you, mama! <3
May Your Coffee Be Stronger Than Your Toddler